my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
