Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
