Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
