2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
