My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
