is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
