I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
