theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
