The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
