this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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