omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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