is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
this just has baby written all over it
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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