Betty ford says i'm here all night
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
