Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
