So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
