I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
