If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
why do cheetos always look like penises
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
