yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We are two peas in an std pod
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
