how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
