I can tuck mytits in my pants
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
