Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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