Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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