The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
