Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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