people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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