im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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