Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
