True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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