trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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