3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
