So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
