everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
