I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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