I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
