Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Soap is not a condiment
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
