You really coming over, don't trick.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You are a genius and a whore.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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