quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
