You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
