hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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