I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
