just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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