yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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