I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
