I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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