Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
