So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
