No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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