did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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