One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
