Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize