So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
