At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The uberlube is also flammable
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
