Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
