Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize