I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
