Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
