But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
