um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
