I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
