The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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