Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
This toilet bowl is my home.
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