just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize