Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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